Imagine a Muslim Arab-Canadian man walking into class holding hands with a white Catholic woman. You realize they are in a romantic relationship. That’s certainly not a shocking occurrence, is it?
Well, consider the same scene happening a generation ago. Or, perhaps it occurred today in Asia or in the Middle East. That couple probably would have received a very different reaction.
It could be similar to the situation former King’s University College student Sandra* found herself in 25 years ago.
“My mom’s direct quote was ‘thousands of years of Catholicism down the drain.’ It was difficult for my parents to accept [that he was Baptist],” she said. “My siblings both married people of a similar background so it was difficult to do something else.”
The taboo nature of inter-cultural and inter-faith relationships a generation ago seems to have been largely replaced by acceptance, at least in Canada. According to the Statistics Canada 2002 Ethnic Diversity Study, a fifth of married couples are of different religions.
But why did this shift occur at all?
“I think the main reason is immigration. North America is an immigrant community,” Rev. Michael Wagenman, Christian Reformed chaplain at Western, said. “When groups come to North America, they tend to stay within their own little enclave. But after a generation or two, these groups have to start dealing with the reality that there are other people around.”
Sandra echoed these sentiments with her experience.
“My parents emigrated from Italy and they stayed within their own little Italian community,” she said. “However, it wasn’t as important for me. Now the third generation, my daughter for example, is completely integrated into society in general.”
With waves of immigration occurring in the past few generations, many cities are filled with second and third generation Canadians.
According to Statistics Canada senior analyst Warren Clark’s report, “Interreligious unions in Canada,” there are more likely to be interreligious unions when one’s surrounding population consists of people of different cultures and religions.
By the same token, those in a homogenous community are more likely to marry someone of their own culture and faith.
Another factor is an individual’s educational background. Students who have gone to ethnic or religious based schools don’t necessarily have the same exposure to other cultures as those who attended public schools.
According to third-year history student Zack Silverberg, going to a Hebrew school shaped his opinions.
“It affected my life and my beliefs,” he said. “I went to Jewish school for my whole life and Jewish camps since Grade 2, so coming to Western was a big change with so many other backgrounds.”
Sandra also had a similar experience growing up in a small, single-culture community, before going to Western for her undergraduate studies.
“My sister stayed at home and went to college. She married someone of the same background and religion. That was important to her because she hadn’t left the community,” she said. “When I went to university, people’s backgrounds and religions didn’t matter. Nobody asked ‘Are you Catholic?’ or ‘Are you Protestant?’ So when I met my husband, his background didn’t matter to me.”
The level of education a person has also alters the likelihood they will have relationships outside of their own cultural group. According to Clark’s report, “Highly-educated groups have wider intellectual horizons […] which may be traded off against religious compatibility.”
Both education and immigration have played a part in the noticeable trend in North America towards secularism. According to the Statistics Canada study, in the last 20 years, the amount of people that do not associate with any religion has increased by 10 per cent.
“We’re a secular society with values that are highly individualistic. Personal happiness is seen as justifiable for entering into something like marriage,” Lara Descartes, a family studies professor at Brescia, said.
Wagenman feels people’s attitudes are no longer dictated by their religious sect as was once the case.
“People used to live their life according to what they felt God’s plan was and now it’s ‘I can choose my own path,’” he said.
Despite the noticeable shift towards secularism, the practice of marrying within one’s own faith or culture still remains.
The liberal-to-conservative spectrum in every religion can affect people’s views on marriage. Those who identify as more conservative “have higher levels of involvement in their religious community and are less likely to be in interreligious unions,” according to Clark’s report.
Fourth-year King’s student Angela* noted it can be very hard for students to escape parents’ values.
“Many of my Muslim friends who are dating white girls won’t tell their parents because [their parents] would be furious,” she said. “My boyfriend won’t tell his parents about me because I would never be accepted into the culture.”
Silverberg is familiar with this experience.
“[My parents] wouldn’t be happy if I brought home a non-Jewish girl,” he said. “I haven’t really talked to them about it because it’s assumed they are against it.”
So while there is a trend for many youth today to date anyone, no matter the religion or background, there still exists a large segment of our society that values the strict maintenance of their religious and cultural heritage.
However, the cultural changes that have occurred in the past few generations have largely allowed each individual to decide what they value in a romantic relationship.
“We live in a much more pluralistic society today. We live in a Burger King world – ‘We’ll make it your way.’ You can tailor your life the way you want it,” Wagenman said.

*Note: Names have been changed to protect anonymity.